After discussing my idea with Les I decided to change some aspects of my story. At the beginning I made it obvious what the fish were rather than having it ambiguous.
I then cut the part where you see the fish in the bedroom as it has already been established that these fish create dreams, this then changes the shot revealing the angler.
Instead I had the idea of the fish turning the corner and the camera suddenly pans out and up to intensify the anglers size. This keeps the shock factor of my original shot.
When the giant angler goes for the fishaman it was suggested that she should look at the gold fish bowl in a state of panic as if to say “that’s not going to fit in there”. It makes the viewer tense and unsure in how the character will survive, it also includes quite a comical moment in the film.
This
action sequence would stay the same but the ending would change, instead of
having a bigger nightmare behind her I changed it so that it starts from a
similar shot to the first so the audience knows that this is a normal
occurrence and it’s an ongoing battle between the fishaman and the nightmare
creatures.
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